shocked and enraged

Commuting, Day rides, Audax, Incidents, etc.
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Revolution
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shocked and enraged

Post by Revolution »

this (extract) was posted on Facebook AUK group, picked up from a blog https://thelonelycyclist.wordpress.com/2015/08/16/skinny-cyclist-not-likely/
I give a nod to a cyclist who’s passed me twice (I think) and he smiles. Just heading toward Punchbowl now. I’ve no intention of doing anything other than enjoying being out, and with a quick look behind me, I end up just coasting along. Looking left and right, remembering what it was like when it snowed on this bit (no idea why tbh). Two cyclists come past me quite fast, one in black and red Castelli, the other in black and yellow Castelli cafe kit.
‘…off the [rude word removed] road you fat bitch…’

When I read this I was shocked - deep sadness for the person who experienced this and rage for the perpetrator in equal measure.
My assumption that cyclists share a common bond - the love of cycling - that unites us all is obviously naive. I can only imagine that these are the same kind of people who would have shouted racist abuse at black people in the 70's and homophobic abuse at gay people in the 80's. Sadly they haven't gone away.
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TrevA
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Re: shocked and enraged

Post by TrevA »

As a "big lad", I get the occassion fatist comment, which to me is like water off a duck's back, but I can understand that someone who is not so thick-skinned would get upset. My wife is quite touchy about her weight/size, even though she's not that big.

Why would you go around making comments like that? Certain people seem to think that all cyclists should stick thin and anyone who isn't shouldn't be riding a bike.
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Tangled Metal
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Re: shocked and enraged

Post by Tangled Metal »

I noticed the piece makes a bit of the cycling clothing worn, what difference does that make? Perhaps they should have just said something about them being decent club riders or something about being racing snakes instead. Off topic I know and I got the reference which was these were "real" cyclists and she was just an overweight person mistakenly on the road on a bike. I just didn't think clothing made much sense to me.

Another thing I would like to point out, round here there are friendly and less than friendly cyclists. The former say hello and talk to you if stopped at lights. The latter just blank you and give the feeling that you are too slow and should get out of the way. Mostly though this last group just ignore you and cycle past. I have no problem with that as we are all strangers. The friendly ones are worth giving the same attitude back and talk to them.

One example of the friendly type was when I was head down and trying to get home as fast as I could (but safely and with respect for other road users as I normally do) I got a small white van driver less than a foot behind me violently using his horn. I knew he was approaching as I had shoulder checked just before but never realised anyone would be such an idiot as being so close. So the horn use sent me into a swerve with the shock of it and nearly under his wheels. I was still angry and a little bit scared at the close call (I really did nearly come off) when I reached a set of roadwork lights a little ahead. Between those two points another fit cyclist slowed and said something to see if I was ok and to express his views on the driver. Then at the lights he also got stopped and talked to me about how there was no need for it as I was riding safely. He was following the van driver (really was a fast rider and it was a 30 mph at best section of road) so he would have seen. It calmed me down to talk about it TBH, then the lights changed and he disappeared a bit quicker than my ego would want (left me for dust even though I tried to keep up).

Not in the same situation but I just thought I would point out that the quality of the rider does not make for a nice or nasty rider but the quality of the human being in the lycra. Those two in that excerpt of the blog were nasty pieces of work who happened to wear some decent lycra kit.
Ben@Forest
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Re: shocked and enraged

Post by Ben@Forest »

I'd agree it's appalling but I don't really think it's specifically a 'fattist' comment. If the rider passed had had no hair the comment would have been 'you bald ****' if they'd been evidently a veteran it would have been 'you old ***'. It's simply rude, ignorant people and I'm afraid the greater the number of people who are taking up the sport the greater the number of rude, ignorant people there will be.

A good number of the newbies will be onto something else when it's fashionable and when Sky stop sponsoring a predominantly British team. Those £3,000 carbons will be at the back of the garage or on ebay, and they'll be swearing at other people in canoes or jetskis or hang-gliders.
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Revolution
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Re: shocked and enraged

Post by Revolution »

I noticed the piece makes a bit of the cycling clothing worn, what difference does that make?

I think the point of mentioning the clothing was that someone may know who they are or even the two cyclists themselves (assuming they are capable of reading) may see the blog and possibly feel some remorse - although that is unlikely.

Also I agree with Ben@Forest -
I don't really think it's specifically a 'fattist' comment. If the rider passed had had no hair the comment would have been 'you bald ****' if they'd been evidently a veteran it would have been 'you old ***'.
The point is how a. unnecessary it is to pass personal comment on a stranger and b. how awful it made her feel.
Tangled Metal
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Re: shocked and enraged

Post by Tangled Metal »

I remember how I felt really bad for a friend when some lads in a car made some pretty hurtful comments about her as they drove past. One of them even went so far as lean out the window to shout back to her. I thought they were pathetic individuals and it killed our conversation as I guess she felt bad and I felt really awkward. I nearly shouted something back at them but opted for the pretend it hadn't happen strategy. What can you do in those situations?

It is a form of abuse and bullying that in our day should have left the playground long ago. If that makes sense. FWIW I know my flaws (physical and with my character) so if anyone used them to insult me I have learnt not to care at all. I am not struggling with weight or having to face racism or anything else like that so it would not be anything more than name calling against me. However weight is one of those issues that can really cause hurt to someone. A sore topic if you like. I do think it is a little different even than orientation or skin colour. People can have serious weight issues that are as much mental as physical and insults can affect those at the extreme end of this issue. My sister went to school with an anorexic who died and that affected the school deeply. Some went the same way but got help before death others didn't but it was a fragile time IIRC (I was a few years younger so that time was kind of remmebered through snippets overheard). My sis was ok as she ate like a horse and never lost or put anything on. Something to do with a highly active life I think with metabolism thrown into the mix that helped her.

Anyway, Doubt they will find those two cyclists (idiots) but at least I know to not get those castelli kit now, might get tarred with the same brush!!
tyreon
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Re: shocked and enraged

Post by tyreon »

Wow! Can never imagine myself having passed such a comment. But in their 'defence'...they're probably uber-fit,young guys,take 'emselves as 'hard-men'...you get the picture. Those hormones,testosterone are raging...it could be the sort of thing...you could do...well,sorta. Look at some of the people who go into the army or wotnot,they're gunning to kill,wanting to 'kick-ass'. Only later,when the deed is done and you realize what a xxxx you've been comes remorse. Then you have to try to forgive yourself...or top yourself! I'd guess them idiots. Later(one hopes)they'll blush with embarrassment. To know all is to forgive all!
PH
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Re: shocked and enraged

Post by PH »

They couldn't have been going that fast for her to have heard the whole sentence.
Always upsetting when people are offended, and some people are just plain nasty, but I've never witnessed cyclists insulting other like that.
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Lance Dopestrong
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Re: shocked and enraged

Post by Lance Dopestrong »

I'd have responded with a resounding foxtrot oscar and a cheerfully waved middle finger. As I've often said, people are born as a***holes and the mode of travel they eventually choose has no bearing upon that.
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Tonyf33
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Re: shocked and enraged

Post by Tonyf33 »

tyreon wrote:Wow! Can never imagine myself having passed such a comment. But in their 'defence'...they're probably uber-fit,young guys,take 'emselves as 'hard-men'...you get the picture. Those hormones,testosterone are raging...it could be the sort of thing...you could do...well,sorta. Look at some of the people who go into the army or wotnot,they're gunning to kill,wanting to 'kick-ass'. Only later,when the deed is done and you realize what a xxxx you've been comes remorse. Then you have to try to forgive yourself...or top yourself! I'd guess them idiots. Later(one hopes)they'll blush with embarrassment. To know all is to forgive all!


Sorry but the 'defence' that they are young and filled with testosterone is rubbish and comparing cycling on the road to being in the army...seriously!!
I was quite useful as a rugby league second row forward, loved smashing people in the tackle/contact, never felt the need to belittle someone whom wasn't quite as good (& I started in a school team that produced 3 professionals including a Great Britain International), never threw a punch in all the time I played and I'm no wilting flower.

I watched a very very big guy whom was clearly overweight struggle to get around the field in a union match on the same ground I was playing on a few years back in my last days before hanging up the boots and people were laughing & taking the mick from afar. I pointed out that he was on the field taking part and giving it a go & trying, and asked them what the hell they were doing, nothing except supping beer and talking yourself up as being someone.
I was also in the army too but didn't need to 'learn' discipline when I joined up after finishing college, maybe that's just me but I'm more competetive/combative now in my mid 40s than I was in my teens/early 20s but still feel no need to show like that being described.

I also get the point about the kit, there IS a fair portion of noddies that are (relatively) new to the cycling scene and act like complete prats, are pompous micturate poor human beings, ride their bikes like they drive their cars and don't give a fig about courtesy/road safety and are selfish so and so's, please do not ever make excuses for people like that no matter how old they are... :twisted:
Flinders
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Re: shocked and enraged

Post by Flinders »

Stories like that make me wish that the victim actually had magic powers and, like Granny Weatherwax (for those of you who read Terry Pratchett), could wave a finger and the wheels of the two bikes would fall off on the next corner.

I also bet that if either of them had been on their own, they would most likely have said nothing- that type is usually-

a) a coward
b) trying to impress their (not very impressive) mates

I can only suggest that the victim replays the incident in her mind with the Granny Weatherwax ending 'or similar' as Granny would say. Sometimes that makes it easier to put things behind you. And remember one day they'll do something like that and the victim's 14 stone ex-paratrooper boyfriend will suddenly come into view......with any luck.
Flinders
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Re: shocked and enraged

Post by Flinders »

Tonyf33 wrote:
tyreon wrote:Wow! Can never imagine myself having passed such a comment. But in their 'defence'...they're probably uber-fit,young guys,take 'emselves as 'hard-men'...you get the picture. Those hormones,testosterone are raging...it could be the sort of thing...you could do...well,sorta. Look at some of the people who go into the army or wotnot,they're gunning to kill,wanting to 'kick-ass'. Only later,when the deed is done and you realize what a xxxx you've been comes remorse. Then you have to try to forgive yourself...or top yourself! I'd guess them idiots. Later(one hopes)they'll blush with embarrassment. To know all is to forgive all!


Sorry but the 'defence' that they are young and filled with testosterone is rubbish and comparing cycling on the road to being in the army...seriously!!
I was quite useful as a rugby league second row forward, loved smashing people in the tackle/contact, never felt the need to belittle someone whom wasn't quite as good (& I started in a school team that produced 3 professionals including a Great Britain International), never threw a punch in all the time I played and I'm no wilting flower.

I watched a very very big guy whom was clearly overweight struggle to get around the field in a union match on the same ground I was playing on a few years back in my last days before hanging up the boots and people were laughing & taking the mick from afar. I pointed out that he was on the field taking part and giving it a go & trying, and asked them what the hell they were doing, nothing except supping beer and talking yourself up as being someone.
I was also in the army too but didn't need to 'learn' discipline when I joined up after finishing college, maybe that's just me but I'm more competetive/combative now in my mid 40s than I was in my teens/early 20s but still feel no need to show like that being described.

I also get the point about the kit, there IS a fair portion of noddies that are (relatively) new to the cycling scene and act like complete prats, are pompous micturate poor human beings, ride their bikes like they drive their cars and don't give a fig about courtesy/road safety and are selfish so and so's, please do not ever make excuses for people like that no matter how old they are... :twisted:


I've been threatened by a 'man' on a train, and was defended by a chap from the navy, and I think there is a bit of a tradition of chivalry of the best sort in the forces, though I'm sure there are exceptions. We have an army base here, lots of them cycle to work and run in the area and have always appeared to me to be models of good behavior when I've seen them or come across them on the bike.
Tangled Metal
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Re: shocked and enraged

Post by Tangled Metal »

I do that imagining with drivers who cut me up on the bike or car. I imagine I have the power to magic a major failure with the engine management system and the engine overheats or cuts out. Then I ride or drive past them smirking to myself knowing I did that and it'll cost them a lot to fix. It really does help me calm down.
Ellieb
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Re: shocked and enraged

Post by Ellieb »

Very sad story, but as with all these type of things, we have only heard one side of it.
mercalia
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Re: shocked and enraged

Post by mercalia »

Tangled Metal wrote:I remember how I felt really bad for a friend when some lads in a car made some pretty hurtful comments about her as they drove past. One of them even went so far as lean out the window to shout back to her
Anyway,



well I have had yobos clearly in their first car and full of it throw things out the side window while passing me. Doesnt happen frequently .
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