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Geeky Joke

Posted: 2 Mar 2011, 2:11pm
by kwackers
A wife asks her husband, a software engineer; “Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!”

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, “Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?”

He replied, “They had eggs.”



Don't get it myself, but Ms Kwacker's is still occasionally breaking into fits of tittering...

Re: Geeky Joke

Posted: 2 Mar 2011, 2:18pm
by Mick F
Fits of giggles here too.
:lol:

We had a young sailor once who was sent to get a damp cloth. He came back with a dry one saying he couldn't find a damp one.

Re: Geeky Joke

Posted: 2 Mar 2011, 3:08pm
by random37
A real geek joke.

Did you hear yoda has decided not to do exception handling?

"Do or do not, there is no try".

Re: Geeky Joke

Posted: 2 Mar 2011, 3:11pm
by kwackers
chris667 wrote:A real geek joke.

Did you hear yoda has decided not to do exception handling?

"Do or do not, there is no try".

I'm not sure most people would catch that...

Re: Geeky Joke

Posted: 2 Mar 2011, 3:17pm
by stewartpratt
You just had to throw that in.

Re: Geeky Joke

Posted: 2 Mar 2011, 3:30pm
by kwackers
stewartpratt wrote:You just had to throw that in.

Sometimes you just have to make an exception.

Re: Geeky Joke

Posted: 2 Mar 2011, 4:15pm
by Si
this thread doeth over flow with poor jokes.

Re: Geeky Joke

Posted: 2 Mar 2011, 4:18pm
by kwackers
you could always carry one.

(sorry, throwback to my assembler programming days)

Re: Geeky Joke

Posted: 2 Mar 2011, 7:19pm
by al_yrpal
A young engineer who graduated with distinction, was just about to leave his office at 3.45 p.m. when he found the Acting CEO of the company standing in front of a shredder machine with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the Acting CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important piece of paper, and my secretary is not here. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young engineer. He turned the power to the shredding machine ON, pressed the START button and inserted the paper.

"Oh that's excellent, excellent young man!" said the Acting CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder, "I just need one copy."

Lesson: Never, ever assume that the CEO knows what he's doing

Really Geeky Joke

Posted: 2 Mar 2011, 7:36pm
by al_yrpal
Dear Helpdesk

Eighteen months ago I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2 which I"d used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is also incompatible with several other applications, such as Lads Night Out 3.1, Football 2.0 and Playboy 6.1. Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better. A shareware beta-programme, Party Girl 2.1 that I tried, had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

Sensing a way out, I then upgraded to Fiance 1.0 only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded (at great cost) to Wife 1.0, which I reluctantly agreed to, because, whilst Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and CleanHouse2000.

Shortly after this upgrade however I then discovered that Wife 1.0 can be very unstable and costly to run. For example, any errors I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then pop-up months later when I had forgotten about them.

Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary Explorer and E-mail Porn Filter, and can, without warning, launch Photostrop and Whingezip! These latter products have no Help files and I have to try and guess what the problem is myself.

Additional costly problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring Shoe Shop Browser for new attachments and also Hairstyle Express, which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child processes that drain my resources. It also conflicts with some of the new games I wanted to try, stating that they are an illegal operation. When Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT program it often crashes or runs the system dry.

Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up called Mother-in-Law, which can't be turned off. Recently I've attempted to try Mistress 2000, but there could be problems. A friend has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects the presence of Mistress 2000 it could delete all my MS Money files before un-installing itself.

Any ideas?

Re: Geeky Joke

Posted: 2 Mar 2011, 8:37pm
by kwackers
al_yrpal wrote:A young engineer who graduated with distinction, was just about to leave his office at 3.45 p.m. when he found the Acting CEO of the company standing in front of a shredder machine with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the Acting CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important piece of paper, and my secretary is not here. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young engineer. He turned the power to the shredding machine ON, pressed the START button and inserted the paper.

"Oh that's excellent, excellent young man!" said the Acting CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder, "I just need one copy."

Lesson: Never, ever assume that the CEO knows what he's doing

That happened for real at a place I once worked. The guy (not a CEO) went to reception to put some mail into the box for posting, asked the secretary where to put it and she nodded towards the corner. Guy walked over and put his mail into the shredder...
Apparently he put up quite a struggle trying to stop it getting pulled in.

Re: Geeky Joke

Posted: 2 Mar 2011, 9:12pm
by sleeping_menace
Image